What to do if you live a bad relationship? by Robert Abitbol; Monday April 21st 2008, 3h 59 am
So Dr Phil strongly believes that you should keep your relationships with family at all costs?
Bullshit!
A bad relationship is like bad seed; it should go to the garbage.
If you live a bad relationship with your father, your mother, your sister, your uncle, your niece, anyone, do what's best for you: cut the relationship right off and don't even feel the slightest remorse.
Now be nice about it, be magnanimous about it. Don't go to the person and tell him/how you truly feel about him, her: don't say: I hate your gutts; I want you out of my life.
No! Say simply: you and I have always had a bad relationship, so why continue having a bad relationship? We want to be happy, right; being happy is the goal of life, right? Well no one can be happy living a bad relationship like ours. Don't point the finger at the person, to the contrary, be cool about it: seek a no-fault divorce. :-)
When this is done, when you'll be capable of dumping a person like you dump your old worn out sandals, you'll feel grest; you'll feel liberated. Your life will start anew.
Go for it!
A little note here.
I left Montreal at 24 years old leaving behind friends, family, community, everyone. I first lived in Vancouver where I actually knew no one. Not a single soul. Did I suffer? Was I unhappy? Not for one moment. I was the happiest chap in the world.
I realized I needed no one to be happy; no one else but me. I could do what I want to do, I could be myself. I didn't have to suffer anyone. I didn't have to be suffer anyone; I didn't have to tolerate anyone's abuse.
Still it took many years afterwards to realize that there was only one way to deal with bad relationships: dump them overboard. It's clear and simple.
Dr Jekyll and Mister Hyde
Oh there are people like that; they're great, they're funny, they're charmers. But next thing you know, they turn into Dr Hyde: they become mean, aggressive, abusive, even dangerous.
If you buy their good side, you buy their bad side too. But do you really need these people and their good side knowing their bad side? No you don't.
Dump these people as well. You don't need such problematic people in your life.
Conclusion
You little devils? You thought like the wise man that: Homo homini lupus. Man is a wolfe to man. And you thought the hardest part of your life was dealing with relationships?
Well think twice.
If you learn how to dump people, your management of relationships will get pretty simple!
You continue to live certain relationships with certain people because you have too much heart; because you don't want to hurt them. And these people know that: they know how weak you are and they abuse you, they abuse your kindness, they exploit your weaknesses.
Is that OK? No it's not.
Say No. Say our relationship is not fulfilling, is not rewarding; so let's leave it at that and let's end it
And once you said that, this will be the first day of your new life. You'll become a liberated person; you won't walk carrying 2 tons of bricks around your legs anymore.
You'll be free!
Go for it and don't think twice about it.
If the person you dumped passes away before you, have a nice thought for him/her: say: He/she was hurt; hurt people hurt; I had to let him/her go for my own sakes. It was either letting him/her go or be unhappy; I chose to let him/her go and I was right to do so.
And move along. Your choice was good...